We’ve made it through day #3 home with Lilly. Amazing how quickly you can jump into a world that you knew nothing about previously. This time last week I had no idea what was about to happen, and here I am just 6 days later, pricking Lilly’s finger every 4 hours, testing her blood sugar, giving 4-5 shots a day, writing down everything she eats and the carbs included and how much insulin she gets for it.
We have an appointment with Lilly’s pediatrician tomorrow and hopefully we can get some more information on how we’ll transition her back into school and a referral for an endocrinologist. The endocrinologist will be someone we’ll meet with regularly who will check the log we keep of carbs/blood sugar/insulin and help us adjust her insulin/etc depending on the information we have. They’ll do all sorts of mathy equations (yes, I said Mathy :D) and help us really hone in on a range for her blood sugar that will be right for her body and where she’s at. At this point she’s pretty up and down (from 400-80 in an hour or so) so it may be that the amount of insulin we’re giving her for the carbs isn’t really specific to her body, as we keep the log we can better tweak that.
I’ve gone from being basically clueless about diabetes to learning a ton in a week. A few things that I have learned in the last couple days:
- Diabetes does not = No sugar- This is most people’s first idea about what being diabetic means.. that suddenly sugar is off limits. That’s not the case at all! It just means that for any sugar that a diabetic consumes, they must give themselves insulin to allow the body to properly process that sugar. Usually our pancreas does this automatically, but for a diabetic we have to do it by counting carbs (sugars) and then administering units of insulin to counteract those carbs in the body
- Type I diabetes is NOT the same as Type II Diabetes- Type I Diabetes is a case where your pancreas quits making insulin all together. You have no option but to use shots or a pump to administer insulin. If you fail to do so the ultimate consequence is death, because your body cannot create the insulin you need to survive. In Type II Diabetes your body does create insulin, but it simply does not use the insulin well, or has become resistant to it. Type II diabetics do not always have to use insulin shots, they may be able to change diet and begin excercising and reduce the effects.
I’ve learned much much more than that, but I think both those things are pretty common misconceptions people have unless they’ve had the need to learn more about diabetes.
I am in a weird place right now, going between “get it done” mode, where I just buckle down and work on things, and “this is too much to handle” mode where I feel paralyzed and can’t imagine how we’re going to integrate all of this learning and new tasks into our daily life.
Today Lilly and I headed to Walmart to get some new measuring cups that she could use to help us measure her food. I promised to let her go to the dollar store and buy something out of her own money (she has a ton in her piggy bank that she saves up). She put her dollar in her princess wallet and I offered to carry it for her, but being the stubborn stink that she is (Sam says she gets it from me) she wanted to put it in her coat. While we were there it fell out somewhere and even after searching the entire store we couldn’t find it. That triggered a total emotional meltdown in the car. She did NOT want a new wallet, she did NOT want to search for the wallet again, she did NOT like any of my solutions, she wanted her old wallet back! I know her reaction really had nothing to do with the wallet, usually she is pretty easy going. It was like a tap into what I’m sure she’s feeling emotionally right now, upset, out of control, not happy with anything, and frustrated.
My heart was breaking for her because I know the roller coaster of emotions that *I* am on right now, and I’m a grown up! I know we’ll get over the inconvenience of all of this and figure out how to work it, but what kills me is the fact that she has to try and comprehend why this is happening and assimilate it into her 5 year old mind. I’m angry (though not sure who at) about the whole situation, it pains me to see tiny bruises on her arms from some of the the injections (maybe I’m not doing it right?) and know that *I* did that, and I have to do that again and again and again. I hope it gets easier, but I still cringe every time I have to do it, even though I know it’s saving her life.
I know this stuff does not have anything to do with photography or photoshop, but I have gotten so many comments and emails from people asking how Lilly is doing and praying for her that I wanted to update. I also feel a bit better to write things out. And hey, I may teach a few people a few things, right? I promise to get back to the Photography/PS stuff soon, I’m back on the band wagon again, getting caught up on work stuff. Oh, I’ll throw in a few pics of Lilly taken last nite at grandma’s in the tub.. that ties it all in, right? 
I did get CS4 while we were gone and had a chance to install it last nite. I’ll give a review in a few days, maybe even do a few tutorials as I get back into teh swing of things.
And the new development on PS Naked is coming still, just delayed a bit as I catch up.
