I’ve been needing to write something on the blog for awhile…. I just never seem to have the time to do it.
It’s funny, back in October, before Lilly was diagnosed it seemed like I FINALLY had things going and together. I was getting things done on time, keeping up with all the balls in the air, I was feeling good about where things were going. Sure we had a lot going on, but I was on top of it, I was handling it all!
Then out of nowhere comes the bombshell of Lilly’s diabetes. I seem to have a pattern of dealing with crisis, I keep it together pretty good, I can withstand the storm, which is what I did. I was surprised how well I was handling it..I was overwhelmed, yes, but I was okay.
But then, about 3 weeks after, I just fell apart. Not noticeably I don’t think, I don’t know how many people really noticed, but I felt like suddenly everything was impossible, I couldn’t figure out how to get anything done, I was barely holding on.
Luckily I have so many supportive and wonderful family members/friends and phaunt members, everyone has been amazingly understanding and PATIENT with me. It wasn’t until after we returned from Christmas in Colorado that I felt like I was coming out from the fog. I can see that life is possible with these new responsibilties, but I also got a wakeup call.
I think God was really using the whole situation to give me a smack upside the head and remind me what is important in my life. For most of last year I was running around 100mph, juggling work and family, adding more things to the pile, just finding a way to make it work.
But then everything came crashing down around me. When you see your child sick, when you’re hit square in the face with the fleeting nature of life and how in a short moment your everything could be taken away.. You wake up a bit.
It’s so easy to lose sight of what is important when you’re busy building a business, and being the driven person that I am, I had crammed so many things onto my plate that something had to give. I finally had to admit to myself that I was trying to do too many things and in the process was making EVERYTHING suffer.
So after a few months of recharging/refreshing and taking a new look at life, I’m declaring 2009 to be my year of cultivation. I spent last year creating and scrambling all over the place, now I need to take a step back and cultivate the projects I’ve already started. Cultivate the relationships that I’ve created in the last year. Invest in those who matter and enrich the projects I’m already working on.
Because of that the Photoshop Naked project is on hold for now. The free ebook is still available to anyone who wants it, but I’m taking a break from creating the entire project, and may just absorb it into the forum. The phaunt forum and phaunt U are what I’m focusing on for now.
I’ve also decided that I want to take this blog back to what it was in the beginning.. a place for me to just connect with other photographers/photoshop nerds just like me. So I’m going to try and post at least once a week, whether I have anything to announce or just wanna say Hi.
I appreciate those of you who are still out there reading, and all the comments/emails I get. Thank you all for sticking with me the last few months and encouraging me.
So that’s all I have to say.. not sure if anyone really cares, but I wanted to announce it incase anyone was wondering what was going on 
And to end on a happy note, here’s a pic of Lilly and her cousin Harland when they were visiting for Christmas:
